-- Just throwing out some ideas, this whole story arc doesn't necessarily have to be taken as a whole-- What if the attachment of both characters is to a board game piece of the Tactigon realm, rather than the video game? Ben's collection is neatly organized in the room, of all the collectible pieces and the additional merchandise (toys, cups, etc).
Perhaps the critter has a keepsake item that it is using to support its home (or some other function), which is outside of Ben's house, perhaps in the bushes. Ben is walking back from a trip to the library, books in hand, to return back home and play his Tactigon video game, when the item that has eluded his grasp (and matches his TShirt) catches his eye. How fortunate!
The books are dropped, one being a "Gamemaster's Guide to the Greatest" and some other books about game mechanics and making games. He pulls at it to find it stuck, so then delicately works it out, causing Squeak's home to be destroyed. He is overjoyed and heads to the house, half running, half leaping. Moments later, there is a rustling and Squeak emerges from the mess that was once its home, just catching sight of the vandal. A light comes from Ben's room and Squeak heads up the nearest tree to find that his treasured pillar, both trophy and pillar, has been stolen, only to be put aside other similar looking items (in alphabetical order, of course, then categorized by size, shape, and color), useless on the shelves.
It is then that we enter the second act, in which Ben has turned off his lights and turns on the game. From here we have the conflict of the electric plug and work in the roof mayhem.
Instead of hanging, the conflict could be led back into his room, where Squeak tries to get to his treasure, but is intercepted by Ben, who stops to notice his blue version of the helmet game piece was placed after the red, instead of before the green, and replaces it. Cornered, Squeak turns away from Ben, and towards the shelf on the nearest wall, moving pieces around as Ben cries out, a dilemma before him: go after the rodent, or allow for this unorganized mess. The rodent is the target of choice, but as Ben draws near with his foam sword replica, Squeak gets desperate and jumps into the shelf, really making a mess this time before jumping out and under the bed.
Ben is torn, and stressfully looks between the shelf and the bed before finally dropping the sword and scrambling to properly arrange his memorabilia. Squeak takes this opportunity to grab the piece that was stolen from him.
Though similar, it was not the one he thought, and as Squeak finally stops running a yard away, he realizes it's not what he wants. He returns back to the house, where Ben is just finishing up the reorganizing. Squeak reaches out its paw, presenting the piece to Ben.
From here: ->Ben takes it, wary, but happy. Then he looks at Squeak as he turns away, and in a moment of realization, grabs the piece from Squeak's home to return it. ==>Perhaps Ben has a new pet/companion ==>Perhaps it is left at that, with Ben's collection incomplete... twitch. ==>Perhaps Ben goes out the next morning and helps to rebuild a little hut, with sturdier supports. Squeak is pleased and gives up the treasure... or perhaps we leave it there with the rebuilding. ->Squeak returns the piece as Ben is playing the game. He then joins Ben with the video game. ->The next morning the piece is on the windowsill
I like the idea Ruben has, it adds a lot of depth and would definitely fix the conflict in the middle. One idea I had, what if after the boy falls off the roof, he lands in a pile of bear traps (it is a house in the woods, there could be bear traps). Ben would be covered head to toe in bear traps and running around in a panic trying to pull them off. The camera would then cut to inside the room with Squeak playing the game while Ben is shown tearing the bear traps off on the other side of the window.
When Ben looks inside and sees Squeak playing his game, he immediately forgets about his situation and runs back inside to protect his game. When Ben gets back inside, with comically large band aids over his body, he runs back to his game and sees that Squeak has overtaken his place in the high score spot. At this point he would completely freak out, much more then when he was covered in bear traps. At the point the climax would have reached its peak. Not sure how it should end, possibly a final confrontation between Ben and Squeak.
Sorry, I didn't realize these were here until today.
@Ruben: We'd need to make sure we "set up" the story about what piece Ben is missing and why it's important. Maybe we could see the whole set in one of the books/magazines Ben is reading at some point early in the short.
I like the conflict, but I'm still not sure I like any of the endings. I think this kinda leaves us in the same place as the previous story, which is great right up until the end.
@Nick: I'm not sure about the bear traps, but something of that nature could happen. Maybe Ben falls in thorny vines, or a jumping cholla (a particularly nasty type of cactus) with a similar result. I really like the idea of when Ben gets back into the house he finds Squeak with the new high score.
There's some good stuff hiding in this comment section...
Ruben, great idea involving squeaks house/den and prized objects. If we go with a more traditional ending (something that resolves conflict in a direct manner) such as Ben helping to rebuild Squeak's house this is a good route to go.
However...
I am a huge fan of expanding on Nick's idea because it acts as a vessel for two parts of the story that I am very fond of:
1. We can premise the relationship between Squeak and Ben with Ben's obsession over his house's security system and traps. This also allows Ben to fall into his own traps at the end (to put bear traps in context).
2. The traps and security system can be Ben's demise (instead of bear traps) in the end, which is great because we now resolve the conflict through self-retribution via Ben's own obsession with keeping Squeak out.
In this story the ending would involve Ben being taken out by his own creation, and then Squeak investigating to see if his rival is really gone and being taken out as well. The resolution is the demise of both characters due to their detestation of the other!
We are in need of a concrete resolution to fill the fissure in our plot that we have created.
-- Just throwing out some ideas, this whole story arc doesn't necessarily have to be taken as a whole--
ReplyDeleteWhat if the attachment of both characters is to a board game piece of the Tactigon realm, rather than the video game? Ben's collection is neatly organized in the room, of all the collectible pieces and the additional merchandise (toys, cups, etc).
Perhaps the critter has a keepsake item that it is using to support its home (or some other function), which is outside of Ben's house, perhaps in the bushes. Ben is walking back from a trip to the library, books in hand, to return back home and play his Tactigon video game, when the item that has eluded his grasp (and matches his TShirt) catches his eye. How fortunate!
The books are dropped, one being a "Gamemaster's Guide to the Greatest" and some other books about game mechanics and making games. He pulls at it to find it stuck, so then delicately works it out, causing Squeak's home to be destroyed. He is overjoyed and heads to the house, half running, half leaping. Moments later, there is a rustling and Squeak emerges from the mess that was once its home, just catching sight of the vandal. A light comes from Ben's room and Squeak heads up the nearest tree to find that his treasured pillar, both trophy and pillar, has been stolen, only to be put aside other similar looking items (in alphabetical order, of course, then categorized by size, shape, and color), useless on the shelves.
It is then that we enter the second act, in which Ben has turned off his lights and turns on the game. From here we have the conflict of the electric plug and work in the roof mayhem.
Instead of hanging, the conflict could be led back into his room, where Squeak tries to get to his treasure, but is intercepted by Ben, who stops to notice his blue version of the helmet game piece was placed after the red, instead of before the green, and replaces it. Cornered, Squeak turns away from Ben, and towards the shelf on the nearest wall, moving pieces around as Ben cries out, a dilemma before him: go after the rodent, or allow for this unorganized mess. The rodent is the target of choice, but as Ben draws near with his foam sword replica, Squeak gets desperate and jumps into the shelf, really making a mess this time before jumping out and under the bed.
Ben is torn, and stressfully looks between the shelf and the bed before finally dropping the sword and scrambling to properly arrange his memorabilia. Squeak takes this opportunity to grab the piece that was stolen from him.
Though similar, it was not the one he thought, and as Squeak finally stops running a yard away, he realizes it's not what he wants. He returns back to the house, where Ben is just finishing up the reorganizing. Squeak reaches out its paw, presenting the piece to Ben.
From here:
->Ben takes it, wary, but happy. Then he looks at Squeak as he turns away, and in a moment of realization, grabs the piece from Squeak's home to return it.
==>Perhaps Ben has a new pet/companion
==>Perhaps it is left at that, with Ben's collection incomplete... twitch.
==>Perhaps Ben goes out the next morning and helps to rebuild a little hut, with sturdier supports. Squeak is pleased and gives up the treasure... or perhaps we leave it there with the rebuilding.
->Squeak returns the piece as Ben is playing the game. He then joins Ben with the video game.
->The next morning the piece is on the windowsill
I like the idea Ruben has, it adds a lot of depth and would definitely fix the conflict in the middle. One idea I had, what if after the boy falls off the roof, he lands in a pile of bear traps (it is a house in the woods, there could be bear traps). Ben would be covered head to toe in bear traps and running around in a panic trying to pull them off. The camera would then cut to inside the room with Squeak playing the game while Ben is shown tearing the bear traps off on the other side of the window.
ReplyDeleteWhen Ben looks inside and sees Squeak playing his game, he immediately forgets about his situation and runs back inside to protect his game. When Ben gets back inside, with comically large band aids over his body, he runs back to his game and sees that Squeak has overtaken his place in the high score spot. At this point he would completely freak out, much more then when he was covered in bear traps. At the point the climax would have reached its peak. Not sure how it should end, possibly a final confrontation between Ben and Squeak.
Sorry, I didn't realize these were here until today.
ReplyDelete@Ruben: We'd need to make sure we "set up" the story about what piece Ben is missing and why it's important. Maybe we could see the whole set in one of the books/magazines Ben is reading at some point early in the short.
I like the conflict, but I'm still not sure I like any of the endings. I think this kinda leaves us in the same place as the previous story, which is great right up until the end.
@Nick: I'm not sure about the bear traps, but something of that nature could happen. Maybe Ben falls in thorny vines, or a jumping cholla (a particularly nasty type of cactus) with a similar result. I really like the idea of when Ben gets back into the house he finds Squeak with the new high score.
There's some good stuff hiding in this comment section...
ReplyDeleteRuben, great idea involving squeaks house/den and prized objects. If we go with a more traditional ending (something that resolves conflict in a direct manner) such as Ben helping to rebuild Squeak's house this is a good route to go.
However...
I am a huge fan of expanding on Nick's idea because it acts as a vessel for two parts of the story that I am very fond of:
1. We can premise the relationship between Squeak and Ben with Ben's obsession over his house's security system and traps. This also allows Ben to fall into his own traps at the end (to put bear traps in context).
2. The traps and security system can be Ben's demise (instead of bear traps) in the end, which is great because we now resolve the conflict through self-retribution via Ben's own obsession with keeping Squeak out.
In this story the ending would involve Ben being taken out by his own creation, and then Squeak investigating to see if his rival is really gone and being taken out as well. The resolution is the demise of both characters due to their detestation of the other!
We are in need of a concrete resolution to fill the fissure in our plot that we have created.