Ben approaches his house and proceeds to pace around its perimeter, all the while checking what seems to be security cameras and sensors, some sort of perimeter alarm, and (most importantly) anti-Squeak traps scattered all around the lawn. After he seems content with their placement, he enters the house and settles down at his desk.
We see a street view of the house again and Squeak moves into the frame from the right as if he was watching Ben and the house the whole time. He pauses for a second, as if in mid thought. In his right hand is a scroll-like blueprint and he looks very focused and determined. He walks toward the house.
Ben has wasted no time since he ensured his house's security, and is now deeply enthralled in his game of Tactigon. After a bit of intense gaming, we see the that Ben is trying to achieve the top ranking in the 'World Rankings' board, but he is currently second on the list. Just then, the power is cut off.
We see squeak on the roof smiling, with cord in hand. Ben becomes infuriated down below (sounds of furniture colliding with breakable objects. etc.). Squeak plugs and unplugs the power in and out a few more times, amusing himself quite a bit as Ben's frustrations rises exponentially.
Then Ben steps outside. He spots squeak on the roof, still greatly amused by what he is putting Ben through. Ben climbs onto the roof and sneaks up behind squeak. There is a moment where squeak realizes that he is in danger and Ben lunges for him, so squeak jumps off untouched. Ben, however, falls directly onto his lawn full of Anti-Squeak traps.
From inside Ben's room we see Ben flailing around outside in a world of hurt from dozens of traps attacking his body. Squeak, on the other hand, is safe and sound in Ben's chair starting up Tactigon. As Ben works on getting the traps off, Squeak manages to beat Ben's previous high score, and place himself as the new world champion.
Ben finally gets back inside his room; just in time to see Squeak's name at the #1 spot on the "World Rankings" page. With that, he charges at Squeak with complete disregard for the well being of his computer and lands right in his monitor. Squeak dodges and runs for the door, with Ben right on his heels. As the emerge from the house, Ben's security system detects Squeak and fires on him, turning them both into dust and ending the dispute forever.
I really like the idea of the massive security system. The whole story works on a Tom and Jerry sort of formula. I think the abrupt, comical ending works for the same reason.
ReplyDeleteRather than turned to dust, I'd like to have Ben and Squeak sitting on the lawn, black and cartoonishly charred, with their white eyes wide in mutual astonishment and surrender.
Or maybe even take it back to the original ending from weeks ago in which the system could malfunction, target the house and light it up in a massive explosion.
I think this is a possible ending - having both of them lose in the end so horribly that they both give up. I think from class we weren't so keen on having one of them win from the other so probably a lose-lose or win-win situation might work better. I think the idea of mutual surrender somehow would work.
ReplyDeleteI think I like the cartoon charred version better than them being vaporized. Just makes more sense to me.
ReplyDeleteI really like this idea, but i feel that its ripping off over the hedge too much, cause at the end of the movie, the dude who made all of these deadly traps for critters just like squeak, gets caught by all of them and just gets destroyed by his own creations in a very comical way.
ReplyDeleteInstead of him being hit by all the traps we could then change it so he has to disarm all the traps he just made, so it still takes a long time for the player to get back, it doesn't just rip a scene right out of over the hedge. and it gives us room to animate some ridiculous security traps.
Actually, I just thought of this, so we are at the scene where, so hes on top of the roof, and he is trying to catch squeak, but in the process, before lunging at the critter, ben's foot gets caught around one of the wirings for the X287-XTRME Anti Burglary RPG Launcher, there it then shows him falling off the roof and ripping whatever cord he tripped on in two.
ReplyDeleteFast foreward until the 2nd time he leaves the house chasing squeak at the end, (the RPG launcher that ben tripped on we can show sparks out a bit and resets into a malfunctioned mode, then right when they open the front door we hear in very techno voice 'Warning, intruder alert, countermeasures engaged, have a nice day', and with that the RPG launches two grenades right over ben's head, and into the house, in which the house then just explodes (or is set on fire, or whatever the heck we want)
Erica-
ReplyDeleteVery valid point. I think that makes a lot more sense too haha. And then you can actually tell who was affected in the end.
Grant-
I like this idea. I haven't seen Over the Hedge so I had no idea this was the same. I like your suggestion though and I think we should go with it. I guess I really need to see over the hedge...
Tati-
Yes, mutual surrender is a good way of putting it. I think that even though it is kind of devastating for the viewer, it would really make them think about it (if they deserved it) and they would remember it.
And I think that Damon's suggestion is valid as well with this ending (making the house vaporize leaving the two characters charred on the lawn).
Squeak needs to deserve what he has coming. We need for the conflict on the roof to be extend by 2-3 actions. He should have something planned to forcibly get Ben off of the roof (a few dodges, some acorns to make him slip, a trip wire with cords on the roof...)
ReplyDeleteOther notes:
Make Ben's room part of the roof to eliminate a lot of useless walking around the house.
Squeak plugging and unplugging the wire could allow for a shot from the glow from
Maybe Ben and Squeak could have a long history of hating each other. Squeak has stolen things (food, metal objects, clothes) from Ben's house as he hates humans for taking over critter homes and land. Ben hates Squeak because he is a thief and is why his house is a fortress against him.
ReplyDeleteJust an idea as to why Squeak wants to invade Ben's house. I think we need to make them quite rotten towards each other for us to like their mutual surrender at the end.